1. Introduction

These “Seek the Human Values Within” sessions offer us an opportunity each week to pause, reflect and re-connect to our core innate wisdom and goodness, which we all have within us.

It is so easy to get distracted by a world that constantly challenges us to live in our heads, through endless information pushed at us, screen scrolling and the fast pace of life we all seem to be experiencing.

Yet authentic joy, happiness and love all come from our heart and they have a powerful positive impact on our wellbeing. The human values are found in our hearts and can be the most wonderful source of guidance at times when we are struggling or are challenged by the world or when we want to know more about who we really are beyond the surface level of our everyday lives, to find meaning or purpose or a deeper truth we may be seeking.

They also can help support and maintain our own mental and emotional wellbeing right now by building inner resilience and strength by connecting to our inner core rather than something outside of ourselves.

In my experience and the experience of many others, these human values of truth, right action, peace, love and non-violence give us wonderful tools to turn inward and connect to this deeper core within us rather than the ever-changing and often challenging world we find ourselves in right now.

For those of you who are new to human values, Sathya Sai Baba, a highly respected world spiritual teacher, modelled and taught these human values throughout his life and urged us all to find out who we truly are at a deeper spiritual level and connect with others at this deeper heart level.

He offered human values as a universal and practical path; they can be found in all the main religious teachings and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and are inclusive of all religious beliefs and wisdom, yet suitable to someone with no beliefs.

So we can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing and experience more peace and joy in our lives through a deeper connection to our inner innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine within us.

Human values offer something for everyone at whatever level you wish to engage with them.

The choice is ours and in our reflections we can choose what to focus on, whether it is self-awareness for inner resilience and wellbeing, personal transformation or a deeper self-realisation. It is useful to have a journal to help us notice our own habits; we can journal using pen and paper or short audio or video notes.

We will start with some gentle guided breathing to leave behind the busyness of the day, connect with the present moment and go within, then we will listen to a quote or quotes from Sathya Sai Baba and reflect on what this means to you in your own life, with some gentle reflective questions to consider, and finally there will be a few practical suggestions on how to action this quote in the following week, though you may come up with your own ideas that work for you.

You may want to use your journal to note down anything that is a useful insight during the session. Try to be as honest as possible in your reflections and you may find with some of these you do not get an answer; sometimes, our thoughts and behaviours are more subtle and we are not always aware of them. You may want to come back to those reflections at a later time to look a little deeper.

And really important to remember here as we reflect: we are not finding fault or criticising ourselves in any way, we are simply bringing to our awareness any useful habits we have and re-connecting with them, and anything which is less helpful which we notice we have a choice to transform in order to move closer to peace within.

2. Guided present moment awareness

3. Sathya Sai Baba’s quote:

In tonight’s quote we are going to look at a short but insightful quote on peace, and how our own inner peace is linked to the greater peace within our society and our country.

The individual, the society and the nation constitute an inextricably linked organism. The peace and welfare of the nation depend on the peace and progress of society, which in turn are dependent on the peace and good conduct of the individuals. Unless the individuals develop mutual regard and tolerance and cultivate equal-mindedness towards each other, there can be no peace and harmony in the community. Material progress alone cannot bring about peace, harmony, and happiness among people.

Dharmakshetra, on the occasion of the sixteenth anniversary celebrations, on 12-5-1984.

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1984/spread-the-message-of-love?searchQuery=The%20individual,%20the%20society%20and%20the%20nation%20constitute%20an%20inextricably%20linked%20organism

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

1. How do I know I am at peace?
2. What does peace feel like for me in my body… in my mind?
3. How do I interact with others when I am at peace and when I am angry or anxious?
4. Are there any groups of people or individuals with whom I am less tolerant, even a little, or intolerant of in my everyday life? What could I do to move my thinking to being more accepting of them?
5. How do I strive to treat everyone equally and respectfully? Is there anyone or group of people that I struggle to treat with equal-mindedness?
6. How could I appreciate another person’s unique qualities, rather than judging them? What would I need to change in my thinking?
7. If I am in a disagreement with someone, what can I do to ensure I don’t just try to make my own viewpoint heard but also value the other person’s point of view, and how can I make this clear to them?

By observing ourselves and reflecting more, we can start to see patterns of behaviours in our own lives and hopefully also start to see the drivers of these behaviours. This awareness is like opening the door to transformation; you can only transform something when you are aware of it. We can use our journal to help us.

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

In the quote above, Sathya Sai Baba mentions mutual regard and tolerance and cultivating equal-mindedness towards others as being helpful in maintaining our own inner peace.

If we are aiming for peace, then it’s helpful to look at what might draw us away from peace or our equal-mindedness in our everyday life, what happens when we lose our tolerance or allow judgements to cloud our vision or maybe discriminate against others in some way and we do not value and respect everyone equally.

Most of us will have situations or events where we may judge or become intolerant or less tolerant, and there is often an emotion which accompanies these thoughts. It is challenging to accept everything that happens and meet everyone with equal-mindedness as we move through every day. We might be feeling fearful or anxious or even just tired, and these thoughts can happen more often in these situations.

Yet the more peaceful we are within, the less impact unhelpful emotions have on our wellbeing and the more resilient we are. On a practical level, emotions create chemical reactions in our bodies and the body then has to work hard to deal with these chemical reactions. So the more time we spend on unhelpful emotions, the more energy our body is spending on dealing with the chemical reactions. So being more peaceful is not just good for others around us, it is good for us too.

Those unhelpful emotions can be managed so we return to peace within.

The more we practise managing our emotions, the more skilled we become and the easier it gets. One important point is, we are not trying to avoid, suppress or repress our emotions—that is not helpful—we are practising managing the emotion so we can take back control of our thoughts and actions to behave with equal-mindedness.

So if we look at judgement, or bias or prejudice, which is quite often accompanied by some sort of unhelpful emotion and can move us away from equal-mindedness, it can be a manageable emotion which we notice and can acknowledge and let go of, or it can be strong.

With so much division in society being presented to us, we can develop judgements about groups of people. These judgements can lead to anger or resentments towards people we do not even know.

Sometimes these judgements are subtle and we may not notice them unless we start to pay attention.

Two suggestions for this week, which you may well be familiar with, but maybe this week you can really focus on one or both of these to develop more peace:

1. If we feel anger, resentment, impatience, jealousy for example, or any emotion which draws us away from inner peace, it is helpful to let the emotion arise and fall and we can use our breath to manage it. If we focus on our thoughts around what caused the emotion—”that person is blaming me for something I didn’t do” or “that person has the car I want, that’s not fair”—or if I am jealous, this just keeps the emotion alive within us. What we can do is switch our focus to our breath and focus on breathing slowly in and out, and the feeling of the breath moving through our body rather than focus on the story we have in our head around the situation. This lets us detach from the emotion and let it do its thing without us acting until it eventually leaves.
   
   An emotion is not permanent, this too will pass; it is actually a message from within us about how we are feeling, which carries an energy within our body to make us pay attention to it. That is why suppressing it sends the energy somewhere else but it does not leave us. That is why if we can let it rise and fall and breathe through it, we release it from our bodies. However, sometimes it can be useful to ask yourself what actually caused that emotion, what happened, why did that cause this emotion? Ask yourself if you can let the cause of the emotion go and move on. If not, what thoughts in your head are holding it in place?
   
   Learning to allow emotions to rise and fall and letting go of the stories we tell ourselves in our heads leads to more peace within.
2. If we can find a way to move from judgement to acceptance, we can change our attitude and this will help us let go of our unhelpful emotion. This is known as cognitive reframing and it is important that we feel the shift in attitude and not just switch our thinking, as thinking it without feeling it is not authentic, it’s just a kind of trick of the mind.
   
   So maybe we consider some of the following:
   – This person is doing their best; we need to accept that rather than expect something else.
   – This person may have problems we are not aware of and thus our judgement is not based on truth.
   
   We recognise this is our judgement in our own head and, accepting our interpretation of what is happening may not be accurate, we let it go and be more open to seeing other perspectives. This is always a useful habit, not just for judgement.
3. At another level, we may choose to sit with a deeper acceptance based on the awareness that everything is Divine Will, and through our trust in this we lovingly accept, this is simply an experience we are having. We may take some time to remind ourselves of our faith in Divine Will and connecting with this faith we let go of judgements and/or emotions.
   
   This deeper acceptance is based on faith beyond the thinking level, and is based on knowing, trusting or believing in a loving consciousness, however we choose to name it. We may recognise a useful lesson in our experience or with hindsight see how the experience was useful to help us develop equanimity and connect within. Or we may simply accept and move onto the next experience.

If you get into a habit of using your journal to note your experiences, you may find this is helpful in bringing more awareness to how you manage your inner peace.

Over the next week you may utilise some of these suggestions or other ideas of your own to pay more attention to your inner peace and how to maintain it.

1. Welcome

Welcome back everyone and a warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through human values. You are welcome to drop in when you can as each week has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

For those of you who are new to human values, Sathya Sai Baba, a highly respected world spiritual teacher, modelled and taught these human values throughout his life and urged us all to find out who we truly are at a deeper spiritual level and connect with others at this deeper heart level.

To help us do this, he offered human values as a universal and practical path; these values can be found in all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition.

We can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing or experience more peace and joy and purpose in our lives through a deeper connection to our innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine within us.

Please choose for yourself only what is helpful to you right now wherever your focus is.

Just to once again briefly explain the format of the session, we will start with some gentle guided breathing or focus on a finger movement, to leave behind the busyness of the day, connect with the present moment and go within, then we will listen to a quote or quotes from Sathya Sai Baba on a specific element of the human values. We will then have some time to reflect on what this quote means to us in our own life, with some gentle reflective questions to consider, and finally there will be a few practical suggestions on how to focus on actioning this quote in the week ahead, though you may come up with your own ideas that work for you. And remember at all times you take charge of your own experience and choose what guidance offered in this session works for you or adapt it to work for you and if you feel uncomfortable, pause and just breathe slowly in and out.

You may want to use your journal to note down anything that is useful or insightful during the session. Try to be as honest as possible in your reflections and you may find with some of these you do not get an answer; sometimes, our thoughts and behaviours are more subtle and we are not always aware of them. You may want to come back to those reflections again at a later time to look a little deeper.

And finally, really important to remember here as we reflect: we are not finding fault or criticising ourselves in any way, we are simply bringing to our awareness any useful habits we have and re-connecting with them, and anything which is less helpful which we notice we have a choice to transform in order to move closer to peace within.

2. Guided focus on the present movement

3. Sathya Sai Baba Quote

This week we will use a few quotes to look at a tool Sathya Sai Baba gave us, as he recognised the difficulties that can be created by the mind, especially in today’s world where there are so many distractions. So he presented this very helpful mnemonic of the word WATCH, which helps us practise the human values. Many of you may already have heard of it and so this will be an opportunity to focus on it this week; for others this may be new. We are going to look at this over the coming weeks and tonight we are going to start with the W for words and how to use our tongue to speak loving words.

WATCH has 5 letters and they can be related to 5 different areas to focus on which connect us to the human values.

He said if the watch reminds you every second of the need to watch these five, you can be quite happy:

“Today, everyone wears a wristwatch; the watches are of many varieties—of shape, size, and cost; the straps too are of different materials and monetary value. The name, WATCH, has five letters!

W – Watch your Words _ TRUTH

A – Watch your Actions – RIGHT ACTION

T – Watch your Thoughts – PEACE

C – Watch your Character _ LOVE

H – Watch your Heart _ NON-VIOLENCE

Prasanthi Nilayam, 9-10-1967

W: The first letter reminds us of the spiritual practice of watching the Word.

One should not revel in idle gossip, or spreading slander and scandal, and wound others and pollute oneself. Examine the word before the tongue pronounces it; is it true, will it hurt, is it necessary? Warn the tongue against relishing falsehood or indulging in outbursts of vilification and the like. Adhere to Truth, at all costs. It is the basic human value.

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1986/the-mantra-round-your-wrist?searchQuery=human%20value%20of%20shanti

May 26 2002 Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality

Watch whether you are speaking good or bad. Watch whether you abuse others or appreciate them. You should not use your tongue to abuse others… Everything has reaction, reflection and resound and it comes back to you in some form or the other. Hence, exercise control over the tongue.

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/2002/sense-control-is-the-highest-sadhana?searchQuery=watch

The tongue is given the job of — speech. It is a tool that you can use in order to give vent to your thoughts, your ideas, your feelings, your desires, your prayers, your joys and your sorrows.

If you are angry, you use it to speak out harsh words very loudly. If you are pleased, you use it to speak soft words in a low pleasant voice. I want you to use your tongue only for your good and the good of others. If you speak harshly to another, he too talks loud and harsh; angry words cause more angry words. But, if you use soft and sweet words when another is angry towards you, he will calm down, he will be sorry that he used his tongue in that way. Do not shout, do not talk longer than necessary, do not talk when there is no need to talk; when you speak to someone or some group of friends, raise your voice to the pitch that is just right for the listener or listeners and not more. Why should you waste your energy by talking louder and longer than necessary?

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1969/the-tell-tale-tongue?searchQuery=watch%20your%20words

May 16 1969 Dharmakshetra

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

1. Considering the last few weeks, have we ever passed on idle gossip, even seemingly harmless or maligned, in some way to another person in your family, at work, in your circle of friends and associates? What about celebrity gossip often presented on many platforms?
2. Quite often at work people complain about management with peers but not the managers; how do you manage these situations? Do you join in, walk away, say nothing, offer a more compassionate perspective?
3. Do you endeavour to express appreciation for others as often as you can or do you tend to criticise/judge them, or does this depend on your relationship with them?
4. How do you feel when someone has gossiped, maligned or criticised you unnecessarily or without checking if it is true?
5. How do you express your opinions; do you first consider the other people listening and if any offence could be taken by your opinion so that you might consider how you present it or decide to keep quiet in this case?
6. How do you talk to yourself? Do you speak softly or harshly; do you tend to judge or criticise yourself or speak lovingly as you might do with a friend?

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

1. Sai Baba included the following statement in the quote above:

Examine the word before the tongue pronounces it:

Is it true, will it hurt, is it necessary?

This gives us an excellent practice for this week.

Is it necessary?

Sometimes what we are about to say might not be necessary even if it is true and will not hurt.

Example: stating the obvious is not always necessary especially if we do it to impress others or we are trying to look better than others.

Telling a person with a disability or difference how to do something may be true and may not appear to hurt but is it necessary? Are we assuming that because of a difference or disability they do not know how to do it when in fact they do, so a better option might be first to ask do they know how to do this or would they like some help?

Sometimes you may be aware of the impact of someone’s action on another person even when they are not, but is it necessary to point this out?

Is it true?

With the advent of social media and deep fakes, it is hard to distinguish the truth these days; it is also much easier to talk about things which turn out not to be true at all.

So are we mindful not to pass on something we have read or seen without establishing if it is the truth, or can we not discuss it at all if we are not sure it is the truth, or say “I saw this but I am not sure if it is the truth”?

Do we over-exaggerate our feelings or the impact of someone’s words in order to create guilt or shame in another person?

Accuracy is closer to truth, so do we take time to check the accuracy of what we are about to say?

Will it hurt?

Often we are not aware of another’s thinking or emotions and can inadvertently say something which hurts their feelings. Could we test the water before we say it? So for example:

“This war is costing us too much money”—do we know if the person we are speaking to has anyone in their family who is Iranian, or in the army, before we make such a comment?

When we voice our opinions strongly or enthusiastically, have we considered if this can cause offence or hurt? We may not always know in advance but can we take some time to think about how my opinion may affect others.

I will give you an example, as someone from the North of Ireland who lived for a while in the Republic of Ireland, which is the South and recognised as a different country, I had a number of people over the years say to me, “Oh, you are from the North and you are nice,” in a sort of surprised voice. This is because of the civil war in the North; they had decided people in the North were not nice. Years ago, before discovering these and other teachings, I might have got upset at the slur on people like myself from the North.

Although I think they thought they were being very positive, actually they were casting a negative light on people from the North and it was really not necessary to tell me I am “nice” in order to differentiate me from other people from the North. After a while I got a little tired of this well-meaning comment and eventually was able to ask jokingly, “What made you think we are not nice up North!”

2. Before you speak when an unhelpful emotion is rising in you, pause and take one long breath or even a few breaths if you can and as you breathe out and let as much of the emotion leave you on the breath. You can use the out-breath to let go of unhelpful emotions and regulate your nervous system. This is a little more effective than the old adage to count to ten before you speak.
3. Practise only saying loving words and withholding harsh or critical words; say something positive or say nothing at all, find something loving to say to someone who is angry with you. Until this becomes a habit you will need to regulate your emotions in order to achieve this. It can be helpful to start moving towards loving words by staying curious and asking questions: “Why do you feel like this?”, “Are you ok?”, “Is there something I have done to you I am not aware of to make you critical of me?” Curiosity rather than unhelpful emotions or judgements can open the mind, reduce unkind words, lead to understanding and an easier path to offer loving words.

1. Introduction

Welcome back everyone and a warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through human values. You are welcome to drop in when you can as each week has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

For those of you who are new to human values, Sathya Sai Baba, a highly respected world spiritual teacher, modelled and taught these human values throughout his life and urged us all to find out who we truly are at a deeper spiritual level and connect with others at this deeper heart level.

To help us do this, he offered human values as a universal and practical path; these values can be found in all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition.

We can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing or experience more peace and joy and purpose in our lives through a deeper connection to our innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine within us.

Please choose for yourself only what is helpful to you right now wherever your focus is.

Just to once again briefly explain the format of the session, we will start with some gentle guided breathing or focus on a finger movement, to leave behind the busyness of the day, connect with the present moment and go within, then we will listen to a quote or quotes from Sathya Sai Baba on a specific element of the human values. We will then have some time to reflect on what this quote means to us in our own life, with some gentle reflective questions to consider, and finally there will be a few practical suggestions on how to focus on actioning this quote in the week ahead, though you may come up with your own ideas that work for you. And remember at all times you take charge of your own experience and choose what guidance offered in this session works for you or adapt it to work for you and if you feel uncomfortable, pause and just breathe slowly in and out.

You may want to use your journal to note down anything that is useful or insightful during the session. Try to be as honest as possible in your reflections and you may find with some of these you do not get an answer; sometimes, our thoughts and behaviours are more subtle and we are not always aware of them. You may want to come back to those reflections again at a later time to look a little deeper.

And finally, really important to remember here as we reflect: we are not finding fault or criticising ourselves in any way, we are simply bringing to our awareness any useful habits we have and re-connecting with them, and anything which is less helpful which we notice we have a choice to transform in order to move closer to peace within.

2. Guided focus on the present movement

3. Sathya Sai Baba Quote

If you remember, we are currently looking at the mnemonic of the word WATCH, which Sathya Sai Baba has given us to help us practise the human values. Many of you may already have heard of it and so this will be an opportunity to focus on it over the coming weeks; for others this may be new.

The mnemonic has the following meaning:

W – Watch your Words _ TRUTH

A – Watch your Actions – RIGHT ACTION

T – Watch your Thoughts – PEACE

C – Watch your Character _ LOVE

H – Watch your Heart _ NON-VIOLENCE

Prasanthi Nilayam, 9-10-1967

We are going to continue with the W – Watch your words tonight. Last week we looked at Sathya Sai Baba’s advice to examine the word before the tongue pronounces it; is it true, will it hurt, is it necessary? And practising using only loving words.

This week we will build on the focus of loving words and look at the intention we have when we communicate: what exactly do we want to communicate and how can this focus on intention help us build quality relationships and adhere to the value of truth.

Quote:

“Truth is man’s long-treasured heritage. Truth sustains the world and protects mankind. It is at the basis of justice and morality, peace and purity, faith and freedom. It has to be revered and activated by man at all times, under all conditions.

The Gita (The Gita is a synthesis of various strands of Indian religious thought, including the Vedic concept of dharma (duty, rightful action)) advises us to adopt ‘inoffensive speech, which is truthful, pleasant and beneficial’ (17-15). In order to solve many problems that arise when one practises the sadhana of truth, Manu directed man not to speak out unpleasant truth or pleasant falsehood. When it becomes necessary to reveal an unpleasant truth, one has to soften and sweeten its impact by consciously charging it with love, sympathy, and understanding. ‘Help ever; hurt never’—that is the maxim.

Vow Of Truth Should Never Be Broken

Instances abound in the history of Bharat of sages and rulers who sacrificed their lives in order to fulfil their plighted word. Emperor Harischandra stuck to the truth in spite of travail and temptation. He refused to deny the word he had spoken, though he had to sell himself and his queen and son as bondslaves and reduce himself to the position of a watchman in a burial ground. Lakshmana too stuck to his promise to accompany Rama during the years of his exile though he had to leave his mother and wife and palace behind. Emperor Bali carried out his promise to Vamana though the guru whom he revered predicted that he would be destroyed if he stuck to the truth and gifted three foot-lengths of land to Vamana. So, he won God’s grace, as Harischandra won it, and both gathered immortal renown.

Attention to selfish interests will obstruct the path of truth. Note how those great persons honoured their promises and compare it with the fate of promises today. Now, they appear as if they are inscribed on water. Students! You must free yourselves from this hypocrisy. Your promises are sacred bonds. The vow of truth should never be broken. This and the adherence to selfless love have to be your ideals.

See how nature adheres to the truth… Man too has to learn this truth and live accordingly, with the heart attuned to truth and the mind saturated with love. Speech must be the flow of truth. Truth must be revered as one’s very breath. The triple purity—speech free from the pollution of falsehood, mind free from the taint of passionate desire or hatred, the body free from the poison of violence—has to be attained by all.

Address to the Students of the Prasanthi Nilayam Campus of Sathya Sai Institute as Chancellor, at the Institute Auditorium, 5 Dec 1985

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

1. In today’s busy world we often make quick assumptions in conversations in order to manage everyday life. When we make assumptions, we will then speak and act on these. Carefully consider conversations over the past week where you may have felt hurt or angry, even slightly. How many times did you assume what the other person meant when they were talking? Did you feel the need to defend yourself or your point of view? Did you speak back in anger or upset?
2. When someone speaks angrily or aggressively towards you, how do you normally respond? As anxieties are rising these days, there is less patience around and angry words are on the rise. If this has happened to you recently, how did you respond? Did you speak, did you stay quiet, did you speak with anger yourself?
3. We are not responsible for others’ words, only our own. What do you do to take responsibility for your words before you speak? How do you manage your speech when you feel hurt, angry, upset?
4. How often, if at all, do you promise something but not follow through? How could you change your words from a promise to an intention or a wish which you hope to deliver?
5. In today’s world, how do you speak up for truth and righteousness? Do you draw attention to idle gossip or ignore it for fear of not being accepted or fitting in? Do you offer a voice of reason when others are being verbally attacked or bullied?

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

1. NVC or compassionate communication.

Developed by Marshall Rosenberg, a clinical psychologist aligned with the work of Carl Rogers’ person-centred psychology. Marshall Rosenberg’s motivation for developing NVC was based on his own experiences during the Detroit race riots in 1943, as well as the antisemitism that he experienced in his early life.

What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. — Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Page 1, Rosenberg, M. B. (2015). Nonviolent communication: A language of life (3rd ed.). PuddleDancer Press.

Nonviolent Communication was named out of a sense of alignment with Mahatma Gandhi’s social movement, which was about both truthfulness and compassion.

“While studying the factors that affect our ability to stay compassionate, I was struck by the crucial role of language and our use of words. I have since identified a specific approach to communicating—both speaking and listening—that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish. I call this approach Nonviolent Communication, using the term nonviolence as Gandhi used it—to refer to our natural state of compassion when violence has subsided from the heart.”

Page 2, Rosenberg, M. B. (2015). Nonviolent communication: A language of life (3rd ed.). PuddleDancer Press.

NVC involves four key steps: observing without judgement, expressing feelings, identifying needs, and making clear requests.

Our words often shape our relationships and so when we use words to express judgement or blame or criticism, we are lowering the quality of our connection with others. With NVC, “Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimised. We are also moving away from the truth of who we are as a true human being. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion“.

On the other hand, when we are speaking softly, kind and truthful words from the heart, we build good connections. A great example of this was Nathan Newby receiving the George Medal for an act of great bravery by talking down a bomber, as he had noticed he seemed anxious and went over to cheer him up!

NVC helps us create good quality connections, lessen misunderstandings and assumptions, and build connection through the intentions of our words and understanding by looking for unmet needs in other people’s words.

We also think in words, so starting to pay attention to the words we use in our thinking is equally important.

There is a lot within NVC and there are two sides to communication, so this week we will look at our own side first. Where we are coming from when we speak and less about the other person’s communication, which we can look at next week perhaps.

In NVC, intention is a primary driver as it comes from our consciousness. In terms of the human values, our intention is to be loving and truthful or on a deeper level adhere to the value of truth.

Whilst we may all espouse this, we can actively practise and perhaps develop this more strongly in our lives through NVC.

So this week the practice is all about paying attention to our intention before I speak or reply to another.

For example: Am I trying to get my point accepted above others, prove I am right by defending my words, express my anger for example, or am I looking to understand, build connection, speak only truth? You might want to take a moment each morning to consider the intention of all your interactions with people that day and bring awareness to the conversations you have.

It will take time to get into a habit to stop and think about your intention before you speak, but it can be key to good connections with others.

We may also have sorts of habitual reactions to people when they communicate with us. Some may react to authority, to anger, or those who are quietly spoken or those who speak little.

There is an acronym in NVC: W.A.I.T. = Why Am I Talking? …to help remind us of our intention before we speak.

For those who want to go deeper in terms of the value of TRUTH and the self-realisation journey, we can also ask:

Who am I right now? Am I going to speak the truth, will my words be accurate, where is my intention coming from right now, my heart or my head? How is this communication taking me closer to the value of TRUTH?

So we can use this week’s tips to look at how we can maintain our attention on the intention we have when we speak in order to adhere to the value of truth and build more compassionate connections with others, which of course brings us closer to the TRUTH of who we all are.

1. Introduction

Welcome back everyone and a warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through human values of Love, Peace, Truth, Right-conduct, and Non-violence, given to us by Sathya Sai Baba, a world spiritual teacher. You are welcome to drop in when you can as each session has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

These human values as a universal and practical path can be found in all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition.

We can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing or experience more peace and joy and purpose in our lives through a deeper connection to our innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine within us.

Please choose for yourself only what is helpful to you right now wherever your focus is.

Just to once again briefly explain the format of the session, we will start with some gentle guided breathing or focus on a finger movement, to leave behind the busyness of the day, connect with the present moment and go within, then we will listen to a quote or quotes from Sathya Sai Baba on a specific element of the human values. We will then have some time to reflect on what this quote means to us in our own life, with some gentle reflective questions to consider, and finally there will be a few practical suggestions on how to focus on actioning this quote in the week ahead, though you may come up with your own ideas that work for you. And remember at all times you take charge of your own experience and choose what guidance offered in this session works for you or adapt it to work for you and if you feel uncomfortable, pause and just breathe slowly in and out. You are invited to journal both during the session and during the week to help you notice any patterns in your life.

2. Guidance to present Moment Focus

3. Quote from Sathya Sai Baba

In this week’s quotes, Sathya Sai Baba is explaining how thoughts are fast and powerful and we need to ensure our thoughts are focused on goodness. Along with this, we also need to develop equanimity to meet life’s challenges and still experience peace within.

Quote 1

To mankind God gave the sword of the mind in the beginning of time.

The one who trains the mind and trains it well flourishes in the world.

But he who is enslaved by the mind can never enjoy peace and comfort even in the realm of dream.

Embodiments of Love,

Mind is a sharp sword. Man will be able to fulfil himself if he realises the subtle and mysterious workings of the mind. Mind travels fast, is strong, lighter than ether and subtler than electricity. Man becomes an easy prey to sorrow and suffering by directing the mind on questionable paths.

…The mind is made of vibrations and there is no end to them. They flow ceaselessly arising every moment. As the waves of the ocean are true to the ocean and are of the same nature as the ocean, the thoughts of man are also stamped by the nature of one’s mind. These thoughts shape, mould and guide the very course of the world. Hence, it is imperative on the part of students to make earnest efforts to guide the mind in the right direction. The man who does not realise the power and the might of the mind allows himself to fall into abysmal depths day by day.

DISCOURSE DETAILS: Thoughts – The basis Of Creation

Date: May 23, 1993

Event: Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1993/thoughts-the-basis-of-creation

Quote 2

We aspire for peace and comfort all the time, but where can we find it? Is it to be found in the material world around us? Experience shows that peace or happiness got from external objects is not enduring. It is like a mirage, which cannot quench the thirst of the deluded animal that runs towards it. The real source of peace is within every individual and it is this inner peace that can confer real joy. Saint Tyagaraja proclaimed to the world, in his song, that there can be no happiness without peace. Such a peace can be got only through achieving equal-mindedness on all occasions, whether one is subjected to pleasure or pain, praise or blame, gain or loss. One should not be affected by criticism arising out of ill-will, envy, or hatred. Reacting to such criticism in a like manner will destroy one’s peace of mind. We should rectify ourselves if the criticism is justified. We should ignore baseless criticisms motivated by ill-will or jealousy. We should be true to our own good nature and maintain our equanimity.

The Quest For Peace

Date: Dec 9, 1985

Location: Brindavan, KA

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1985/the-quest-for-peace…

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

1. Reflecting on the last week, what did you react to in your daily experiences? Were there people, events or experiences which caused an internal reaction which did not feel good, or even an external reaction in terms of your words or behaviours which was not helpful?
2. How often do you question your own thoughts or do you generally accept and act on them? For example, do you ever ask where did that thought come from or why do I think that?
3. What do you do with unhelpful, critical, unkind or harmful thoughts? Do you face them and say no, do you feel guilty or ashamed, do you act on them?

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

1. Peace is experienced in our mind and our heart. Equanimity is a steadiness of the mind and emotions enabling us to remain calm and composed in any situation. It is a safe space for the mind where we can observe without reacting.

Equanimity comes through our relationship with our thoughts. Our relationship with our thoughts is the first step in transforming them to bring peace.

You are not your thoughts—how can I say this with certainty? Because human beings are the only species we are aware of that have the power of meta-cognition. Meta-cognition is the ability to observe our thoughts or cognition. We are the only known species to have meta-cognition, which is a significant part of being a human being and which helps make self-realisation attainable.

Meta-cognition enables us to move from identification with our thoughts to observation, which creates a very valuable space from which we can see what is going on in our minds! “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl

So if we can observe our thoughts and thought patterns—who is doing the observing?

Let’s try it now; let’s just spend 30 seconds watching our thoughts.

This is the first step to equanimity: to become aware of our thoughts. We are so used to listening to a constant stream of thoughts in our heads we often identify with them rather than question them.

However, often we are not even aware of them unless they connect to a feeling, which often then brings our attention to them.

So this week our focus is to start paying more attention to our thoughts. Firstly, noticing without any judgement what is going on in our head. Can we pick up any patterns of thought around specific people or experiences?

Shining this light of awareness on our thoughts can bring uncomfortable feelings, so please do not focus too long on our unhelpful thoughts.

Along with the focus on our thoughts, we also need a practice of letting them go. Having a strong affirmation along with the breath can support us. So breathing in saying “I choose a more helpful thought” and breathing out “I let go of that unhelpful thought.” Or at least on breathing out say “I let go of that unhelpful thought.” Trying to rationalise the thoughts only engages with them and so maintains the focus—just let it go, no need to analyse or criticise ourselves.

Many of our thoughts are programmed since birth by those around us, and so do not even come from ourselves, but we have long since forgotten where we inherited these thoughts and just live by them.

2. Equanimity through a connection to the Atma rather than the mind

“One’s thoughts are responsible for everything. One should realise, “I am responsible for everything, my thoughts are responsible and none other is the cause of my happiness or sorrow”. Such a person becomes noble and one of fruitful resolve. He alone manifests his innate nature and realises that the Atma is the source of everything. It is the power of the Atma that makes the tongue speak, the ears hear and the eyes see. When one realises that the source of everything is the Atma, one attains the state of thoughtlessness and supreme peace.”

Ensuring our thoughts are focused on God helps us to remember our connection to the Atma.

1. Introduction

A warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through human values of Love, Peace, Truth, Right-conduct, and Non-violence, given to us by Sathya Sai Baba, a world spiritual teacher. You are welcome to drop into these sessions when you can as each session has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

These human values are a universal and practical path; they can be found in all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition.

We can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing or experience more peace and joy and purpose in our lives through a deeper connection to our innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine or pure love consciousness within us. Please choose for yourself only what is helpful to you right now wherever your focus is.

Just to once again briefly explain the format of the session, we will start with some gentle guided breathing or focus on a finger movement, to leave behind the busyness of the day, connect with the present moment and go within, then we will listen to a quote or quotes from Sathya Sai Baba on a specific element of the human values. We will then have some time to reflect on what this quote means to us in our own life, with some gentle reflective questions to consider, and finally there will be a few practical suggestions on how to focus on actioning this quote in the week ahead, though you may come up with your own ideas that work for you. And remember at all times you take charge of your own experience and choose what guidance offered in this session works for you or adapt it to work for you and if you feel uncomfortable, pause and just breathe slowly in and out. You are invited to journal both during the session and during the week to help you notice any patterns in your life.

2. Guided present moment

3. Sathya Sai Baba’s Quote

So as we work our way through the WATCH mnemonic to bring awareness to the human values, we will once again look at the T for thoughts, specifically the thoughts which are also intentions, as intentions are very powerful motivators within us driving our choices and actions.

Bringing awareness and consideration to our intentions can transform our lives.

In the quote this week, Sathya Sai Baba was talking to his students from one of the colleges about intention.

Man’s progress depends on strength of mind and purity of feelings. His mental condition and the actions which rise from his feelings decide whether he will be bound or free, happy or miserable, rising or falling. The mind is the framer of all man’s intentions and resolutions, his wills and won’ts. These sankalpas—heartfelt intentions, resolves, or vows which guide one’s life and actions—motivate the senses and initiate activities that reveal their real nature. When a pebble is dropped into a well, the ripple causes further ripples and the entire surface is affected. So too, when an intention enters the mind, the waves it causes envelop the body and prompt many activities.

When the will is pure, activities are also pure. When it is impure, the activities through which it expresses itself are also impure. So, one has to be vigilant. As soon as an intention is formed in the mind, examine it to find out whether it deserves to be put into action or whether it is unworthy to be acted upon. The intellect must be called in to conduct this examination.

Intentions that arise in the mind have a great potency and vitality. Even after the death of the person, they can shape events, produce good or inflict evil. Why? They are the cause for the person getting embodied again and going through further lives! Therefore, one has to cultivate beneficial resolutions and maintain them. These are like swords. They can cut to pieces the weeds of evil thoughts, evil feelings and evil habits. As a consequence, good thoughts, good plans, good acts and good lines of action can grow freely.

Value Of Good Intentions And Good Company

Students have to take particular care about one fact. When the mental resolutions take a bad turn and when you are then in the company of a bad one, your condition becomes worse on account of plus getting added to plus. The result is disaster. When your intentions and resolutions are good, and when you join the company of the good, you can progress faster. The company of the good is like the noon-time shadow. It is short in the beginning but lengthens as the evening comes on. The company of the bad one is like the morning shadow. It is long when the day dawns, but becomes shorter as noon approaches. The comradeship and conversation of the undesirable appear sweet and profound in the early stages, but the effect is only pollution of minds and hearts.

Purnachandra Auditorium, 22-11-1981.

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

1. Take some time now and consider what were your intentions as you moved through today. Can you remember any intentions you may have set during the day? Were you focused on getting through a to-do list, achieving success in some area, completing a task?
2. Did you have any intentions today around how you wanted to be, e.g. was your intention to be kind today, or to be thoughtful today, or understanding? So intentions around being rather than doing.
3. Think about what happens in your own mind when you have an intention: does it take over your thoughts and actions? Do you take time to deliberate on your intentions or do you impulsively follow them, or a mixture of both, and if so which ones do you impulsively follow and which ones do you tend to deliberate on?
4. Which kind of intentions do you generally tend to focus on that motivate you to take action? Doing or being?
5. Do you tend to prioritise some types of intentions that come into your mind over others, e.g. be kind or hurry? Do you hurry anyway to get to your destination? (Good Samaritan research)
6. Do you stop before you action an intention and ask yourself, “Does this align with my values?”
7. What kind of intentions have you had in the past which have brought peace and harmony to your life?

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

1. This week let’s pay more attention and bring awareness to the intentions you tend to follow through on and any you ignore and see if you can notice a pattern. Maybe you can see patterns or categories; so for example you like to get things done so you focus on action intentions rather than the how of the action. You like to connect to people so you tend to be chatty at work even though other people may need to get on with their work. So pay attention to whether your intention is good for you; what is the need behind your intention or the result of that intention for you?
2. Now widening our circle of awareness: do you consider the impact of your intention both on yourself and then others around you when you have an intention? So do you ask yourself what is the impact of this intention on myself and again what is the impact of this intention on others? Does it align with my values?

Can you start to take intentions you notice and see if they align with the human values or see which human values they align with as a start?

3. Do you ever stop and ask others what their intention is when something bothers you? So rather than react with annoyance or anger, you ASK about the intention so you can understand (NVC).
4. For any intention which brings more peace and harmony that you have identified above, how can you make this intention a priority in your day-to-day life?
5. “Start the day with love, spend the day with love, end the day with love”

1. Each morning is a brand new start. How can you build a simple intention at the start of each day to action this quote and bring awareness to our daily lives? It may be too big or broad as it is, so what smaller focus around love can you add as an intention in your life to start your day with? “Today I intend to bring gratitude for my life or to everyone I meet, to be kind, smile or say hello to everyone I meet, while inside I focus on being in a loving space so that love gets spread out to those I meet.”
2. Take each of the human values one day at a time during the week and try them out as an intention for the day, swapping out the word love in the above quote for each of the other values. It may be helpful to pick something specific, so maybe an intention to let go or release unhelpful emotions rather than act on them, or the insistence on life following what I want to bring inner peace to my day or remain calm and only take actions which support me in remaining calm.

6. “Start the day with love, spend the day with love, end the day with love, this is the way to God”

Using this, how can you move closer to seeing the Divine pure love in everyone you meet? Maybe you focus on the good instead of judgement as a start with anyone you have an issue with.

Maybe you focus on kindness and understanding rather than impatience or dislike or disinterest. This is cognitive reframing and helps us align our thoughts with our values and thus our actions will align with our values, bringing us closer to harmony of thoughts, word and deed. And if we harmonise this with human values, we can transform our everyday living.

A great focus for the coming week to help us keep our intention on actioning the human values in our everyday lives. See you next week.

1. Introduction

A warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through the human values of Love, Peace, Truth, Right-conduct, and Non-violence, given to us by Sathya Sai Baba, a world spiritual teacher. You are welcome to drop into these sessions when you can as each session has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

These human values are a universal and practical path; they can be found in all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition.

The human values bring us beyond the self we construct in our mind and closer to our authentic self. This week, as we look at the C in WATCH for “watch your character”, we will start by looking at how human values offer a fresh perspective of how identity, personality and character are linked through our thoughts and actions. Please use your own inner guidance throughout the session, use your journal if it is helpful and be kind to yourself in the reflections; accept what you see with love and gratitude if you can, as once you are aware of something you have the choice to transform it.

All of our identity, personality and character are often associated with the ego-self, through which most of us live, which is known as our sense of “I” which actually helps us live our lives through its rational decision-making, self-control etc. However, this ego-self is a constructed self; it is the psychological identity we build to feel safe, significant, and in control of our lives, so it is our mental self‑image rather than our true self. Connecting with our true self is what brings us the true peace and harmony we all seek in our lives.

The work of Carl Jung, for example, saw the ego as our conscious identity but not our true self. So the ego is our sense of self based on the narrative in our heads but not the true essence of who we are. It is not our values or consciousness!

Because it is constructed and not our true essence, it is often fragile, defensive, fearful, and causes us to create attachments to hold onto. It often needs a lot of validation and recognition. This can underpin experiences of anxiety, stress and depression, as just a few examples of its impact.

In the human values teachings of Sathya Sai Baba, we are being guided to move from living through our ego-self to living through our true authentic self or essence, referred to as the Atma or the Divine pure love within us all, using the human values to help us.

Not everyone believes in Divinity and so you may want to think of the Divine as an eternal, conscious essence beyond the body and mind, something often outside of our understanding; interestingly, this is acknowledged in all main religions and wisdom traditions. You may want to use other words which you connect to this principle of pure love instead of this specific term. Whatever your belief system, please relate this week’s quote to your own frame of reference for pure love. Other traditions have other names such as life force, Buddha nature, Christ within, soul, spirit, Qalb, Yechidah (yeh-chee-DAH) — the unified Self (very similar to Paramātman) (Kabbalah), Yuan Shen (“yoo-ahn shun”) (Taoism), Great Spirit within (Native American).

As anyone on this journey will tell you, it takes courage to see through the constructions of our mind and move towards our authentic self, but it is well worth the effort as we gain freedom, peace and harmony and we will come to know how we are all connected.

But for this week, as we are working with the C in our WATCH mnemonic, let’s start with the personality and our character and how important it is to focus not on what is outside but within ourselves.

2. Guided present moment awareness

3. Quotes from Sathya Sai Baba

In the quotes below, Sathya Sai Baba is pointing us to live from a place of pure love to guide our personality and character and may offer a very different view of personality than what we are accustomed to hearing. If we look at the world today, we can easily see why this focus on pure love could bring compassion, connection and peace on the earth.

It is only when man cultivates moral values and manifests the divinity within him that his true personality as a human being will be revealed.

This means that man should strive constantly to cherish good thoughts and act righteously. Only a man with a personality can be called a person. This paurusham (personality) is a term applicable only to a person who leads an ideal and truthful life, filled with good deeds. The Latin word “Persona” means one who is a spark of the Divine. Only by recognising the inherent divinity in him can man become truly human.

The recognition of the divinity in man will lead to the realisation of the unity of mankind. Everyone will then realise that he belongs to one human family, just as all flowers in a creeper belong to the same plant, and all birds in a flock are one.

Inaugural Address In The Institute Auditorium, New Master’s Degree Course In Business Administration, 21-8-1986.

“Without purity of mind and sincerity, mere rituals and ablutions cannot cleanse his mind. He remains impure even after bathing ten times. One may take a morsel of food in the palm and take it round the mouth three hundred times, but unless it is put into the mouth the relish of food cannot be known. Likewise, the development of good character consists not in practising external but in exercising the internal. Inner purity is the prerequisite for cultivation of character. Seekers should, therefore, be very cautious in this regard.

There are three vital aspects of character which every individual should strive to cultivate and foster: purity, patience and perseverance. These are in fact the stepping stones to real success in all spheres of human endeavour. Men who have these virtues are sure to reach the goal.

Every student must read the scriptures besides his textbooks so that he may fill his mind with pure thoughts. Man must cultivate patience, for, through patience, he can accomplish even the most difficult task or solve the most intricate problem. Man can tide over the worst crisis through patience. Perseverance, the third vital aspect of character, involves man to proceed undaunted on the path of progress and achieve the ultimate goal.”

Undated letter from Sathya Sai Baba: Importance Of Character in Life

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

1. How would you sum up your personality to someone else?
2. What type of words, concepts or frames are you using to express your personality? Are you using your values, your behaviours (perhaps representative of values), others’ viewpoints you have been told for example? Look at HOW you have just summed up your personality, not what you said to yourself.
3. Did you focus on the positives only, the negatives only or both elements of your personality?
4. How would you have described personality (before hearing this quote)? Have you ever thought of personality as a term applicable only to a person who leads an ideal and truthful life, filled with good deeds?
5. If someone asks you who you are, how would you reply? Do you refer to yourself as a mother/father, your job/profession, name—what came to your mind first? Why do you think that was so important to you?
6. If we think of Identity = inner sense of self, our character as a moral expression of self, and personality as the whole psychological framework, how would you sum up your character to someone else? What does the term of good character mean to you?
7. How much have purity, patience and perseverance influenced your life so far?

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

1. Our thoughts and personality are closely intertwined because our personality shapes our habitual thoughts, and our habitual thoughts express and reinforce our personality. Our personality refers to our stable patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving across differing situations. In psychology, there are 5 big personality traits: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism.

In psychology, thoughts are considered one of the three pillars of personality — along with feelings and behaviours — and research shows they are essential for understanding why people act the way they do. Remember, you are not just your thoughts; you are so much more than your thoughts and that is why we are using the human values to connect with a deeper part of ourselves. Human beings have a special mental faculty of meta-cognition—we can observe our thoughts! Remember: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor E. Frankl.

So we can build a relationship with our thoughts rather than blindly act on them or react to them. So this week, let’s use meta-cognition to build a better relationship with our thoughts and to identify when the ego is talking and calling it out. So if we might have a thought, “She’s already so successful; I’m such a failure,” say to ourselves, “That thought is from the ego,” or “That is the ego talking – that is not my true self.” Then you can start to weaken the ego’s grip on your life. Thoughts like “I’m not wrong. They just don’t understand,” “What if I fail and everyone laughs at me?”, “Why does this always happen to me?”, “I need to protect myself,” “I need to make him/her listen to me,” “They probably think I look ridiculous” are all from the ego seeking to maintain its image or seeking approval, or controlling or defending. You don’t have to listen to them; just acknowledge them for what they are: “That thought is from the ego” or “That is the ego talking – that is not my true self.”

2. Moving from ego to our authentic self is less about “destroying” the ego and more about seeing through it. The ego is a protective mask we all wear in the world to survive; authenticity is our uncovered face—this is who I am, warts and all. The shift happens when you stop living from fear, image, and control — and start living from truth and inner alignment; you transcend ego through acceptance, humility, presence.

So following from last week, let’s set an intention to, as best we can, focus on acceptance rather than judgement, humility in our thoughts and actions (e.g. embracing imperfection, accepting criticism, valuing others, accepting support), and if you can, be present in the moment rather than time travelling in our mind to the past or future and being anxious or stressed.

And of course remember not to be hard on yourself when you do not meet your intention; it is an intention we are striving to be, not a success criteria. Be kind and accepting to yourself always.

3. For those on a deeply spiritual path, consider the following quote to guide your intentions for this week:

Once Arjuna asked Krishna, “Swami, the mind is very fickle. It is also very powerful. It is not that easy to control the mind.” He prayed to the Lord to teach him the way to control the mind. Then Krishna said, “Oh madcap! In this world, there is nothing easier than controlling the mind. Wherefrom does the mind originate? It originates out of thoughts. If you make your thoughts proper and good, you will never have any problem with the mind. What is the practice that you should do? Only one practice. Have full faith that the entire universe is the very form of God. You should recognise that there is one divine principle in the entire diversity of many names and forms in this world.

You may be a householder; you may be a student or a businessman. Whatever task you may be engaged in, keep your focus on your aim of knowing the Atma. That is spirituality. Spirituality is not merely limited to spiritual practices. Keeping the mind focused constantly on the Atma and experiencing bliss in the heart is true spirituality. Then whatever you do, it will become sacred and worthwhile. But you have to keep a watch on the mind because it is the mind which stands as an obstacle in everything. Keep the mind aside. Tell the mind, “Don’t stand in between God and me. You relate to the world. My relationship with God is sacred and spiritual.” Pacify the mind in this way and keep it cool.

1. Introduction

A warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through the human values of Love, Peace, Truth, Right-conduct, and Non-violence, given to us by Sathya Sai Baba, a world spiritual teacher. You are welcome to drop into these sessions when you can as each session has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

These human values are a universal and practical path; they can be found underpinning all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition. The human values connect us to our innate goodness, the common humanity in all of us.

We can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing or experience more peace and joy and purpose in our lives through a deeper connection to our innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine or pure love consciousness within us. Please choose for yourself only what is helpful to you right now wherever your focus is.

This week as we continue to look at the C in WATCH for “watch your character”, which relates to the values of LOVE, we will look at some specific qualities Sathya Sai Baba has highlighted so we can focus on these to support our good character. Please use your own inner guidance throughout the session, use your journal if it is helpful both during the session and the following week, and be kind to yourself in the reflections; accept what you see with love and gratitude if you can, as once you are aware of something you have the choice to transform it.

We will take some time to leave behind the busyness of the day and connect to the present moment, listen to a quote and then gently reflect on this quote and what it means to us personally in our everyday lives, and finally consider some tips or practices that may be useful to help us action this quote in our life in the coming week.

2. Guided present moment awareness

3. Sathya Sai Baba’s quote

“More than all the previous ages, the Kali-yuga offers multifarious paths through which man can acquire viveka (discrimination). If it is discrimination that is needed, it is shining aplenty in man. If it is education that is needed, there are as many schools and institutions as you need. If it is wealth that one is after, there are various avenues by which, with effort, it can be honourably earned. In spite of all these, however, we do not find any increase in human happiness or peace. Indeed, there is much more misery than in previous ages!

What then is the reason? The reason lies in human behaviour, in man’s way of living itself; there is no other reason. Human life is undoubtedly the highest in evolution and to give it meaning, behaviour that is pure and holy is essential. For such behaviour, character is all important. Character makes life immortal; it survives even death. Character is the real strength of man. Many people say, jnana (knowledge) is power, but it is not true. Character is power. Even the acquisition of the highest knowledge or wisdom demands a good character. So, everyone must yearn to attain flawless character, without any trace of evil.

Note that Buddha, Jesus Christ, Shankaracharya, and Vivekananda, such great sages and saints and devotees of the Lord, are all treasured in the memory of man even unto this day. What swabhava (quality) made them all memorable for all time? I say, it is the character of each one of them.

Without character, wealth, education, social status, all these are of no avail. It is the fragrance of the flower, which gives it value and worth. In this world, poets, painters, artists, and scientists may be great, each in his own field, but without character, they can have no standing in society.

Doubts will certainly arise whether all those who are now greeted with respect by society have the character which we consider essential to greatness. But, I am speaking of a society and a character, which cling to certain unchanging values. Ordinarily, society attaches varying importance to certain qualities from day to day and fashions in character change with the vagaries of society. But, the basic nature of a flawless character is eternal; it is the same, whatever the vicissitudes of society. In that sense, it is immortal, being associated with another immortal entity, the atman (self, soul).

Qualities that make up a character flawless and eternal are, daya (compassion), dakshinya (kindness or ability to help), prema (love), kshamapana (forgiveness), nijayiti (honesty) and orpu (forbearance) — these are the highest, these have to be revered. These alone make the life of man meaningful”

Prema Vahini

https://www.ssssahitya.org/vahinis/prema-vahini/noble-qualities-form-the-path-for-the-aspirant?searchQuery=character

4. Self-awareness gentle reflections

This week we are going to use the guidance on the qualities which make a person’s character flawless and eternal and use the suggested gentle reflections to consider how we have developed or can develop these qualities. Please be kind and accepting to yourself as you reflect; self-criticism is not productive, self-reflection done with love is supportive and transformative if you would like it to be.

Compassion | Kindness | Love | Forgiveness | Honesty | Forbearance

Taking some of these, we will ask: In the last few weeks, can you think of a time when you were exhibiting these qualities?

• What motivated you to be so?
• How did you feel when you were?
• Were there any opportunities to be so that you missed? Why do you think you missed this opportunity? What was more important at the time or were there any biases which may have stopped you from being so?

5. Practical suggestions for the following week

1. Forbearance—forbearance is the ability to show patience, tolerance, and restraint, especially in the face of challenging circumstances or difficult people. In order to achieve forbearance, we will need to be able to have self-restraint. This can be challenging when we feel strong emotions such as anger, outrage, or even simple impatience for example. So we might need some tools to help us manage this.

“Forbearance is the first and foremost quality that man has to develop. This sacred quality cannot be learnt by reading books. It cannot be taught by teachers nor can it be acquired from friends. It cannot be bought in the market either, and there is no company that can supply it. It can be acquired only by following the path of truth and righteousness in daily life and by constant practice. There is no other way to attain it.”

– From Bhagawan’s Discourse in Sai Kulwant Hall, Prasanthi Nilayam on 26th June 1996

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1996/forbearance-is-protective-armour-for-man?searchQuery=forgiveness

Forbearance is like a protective armour for man. One who wears this armour will be able to withstand all types of difficulties, sorrows and sufferings and will march forward without being bogged down by them. There is no other power greater than the power of forbearance. This is the most important quality for a human being.

– From Bhagawan’s Discourse in Sai Kulwant Hall, Prasanthi Nilayam on 26th June 1996.

https://www.ssssahitya.org/discourses/1996/forbearance-is-protective-armour-for-man?searchQuery=forgiveness

Self-restraint:

Use the breath to calm your nervous system at times when self-restraint is needed. Years ago, there was a phrase “count to 10 when you are angry”, which re-focused the mind but our physiology was still in the angry zone, sending lots of hormones and neurotransmitters around our bodies. These are very powerful so whilst we struggle to refocus the mind, we are also battling strong chemical reactions in our bodies.

We now know we can use the breath to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Remember, when we slow down the breath, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system which calms our nervous system. Using the breath to activate the parasympathetic nervous system is a quick and effective way to manage the chemical reactions in our bodies, which will support our mind in refocusing.

Often having a useful phrase to repeat with our breath is very useful; this will bring the mind and body into a natural harmony in a positive, useful focus.

So as forbearance is built on self-restraint, having a useful phrase like:

– I can accept this is happening (right now, remember, not the same as condoning!)

– I accept what is out of my control

– I can get through this

– I can be patient and forgiving

2. We have talked about using intentions to guide us before, and this week we have a number of qualities clearly spelled out. So this week we could use our journals to reflect on these qualities and at the end of each day consider which of these qualities we were able to action in our day. Whilst this may seem a simple practice, it strengthens our brain’s neural pathways, and the more we build strong neural pathways, the more something becomes a habit and takes less effort. So actively looking at how we are actioning these qualities is a powerful way to strengthen them in our lives. If you think of any good habit you have, this habit was developed through a motivation for an outcome which was strong, and so you kept actioning this habit until it was unconscious and effortless.
3. For those on a spiritual journey, we can call on our faith in God to help us at times when we need self-restraint:

– Please help me to accept this situation right now

– With God’s grace I will get through this right now

– Everything is good for me and is God’s grace

1. Introduction

A warm welcome to our weekly 30 minutes of pause, reflection and re-connection to our innate goodness through the human values of Love, Peace, Truth, Right-conduct, and Non-violence, given to us by Sathya Sai Baba, a world spiritual teacher. You are welcome to drop into these sessions when you can as each session has its own focus and everyone is welcome.

The human values connect us to our innate goodness, the common humanity in all of us. They offer a universal and practical path, and can be found underpinning all the main religious teachings and wisdom traditions and encompass all the moral and ethical codes on the planet and yet are suitable to someone with no affiliation to a religion or wisdom tradition.

We can use the human values to support our mental and emotional resilience and wellbeing or experience more peace and joy and purpose in our lives through a deeper connection to our innate goodness or to develop our spiritual awareness on our journey to true self-realisation of the Divine or pure love consciousness within us. Please choose for yourself only what is helpful to you right now wherever your focus is.

This week as we continue to look at the H in WATCH for “watch your heart”, which relates to the values of Non-violence, we will look at some specific qualities. Please use your own inner guidance throughout the session, use your journal if it is helpful both during the session and the following week, and be kind to yourself in the gentle reflections; accept what you see with love and gratitude if you can, as self-awareness brings choice in how we live our lives.

We will take some time to leave behind the busyness of the day and connect to the present moment, listen to a quote and then gently reflect on this quote and what it means to us personally in our everyday lives, and finally consider some tips or practices that may be useful to help us action this quote in our life in the coming week.

2. Gentle guided moment practice

3. Sathya Sai Baba’s quotes and gentle reflections

This week we will look at three different quotes with individual reflections. We will briefly touch on violence to the self through excesses in how we live, how we can do harm by our thoughts, words and deeds, and how non-violence brings us inner peace. We will consider some suggested ideas for moving from judgements, which often underlie negative thinking towards others, to curiosity—an often underrated tool we can use to practise non-violence.

Now, what is meant by non-violence? People consider only hurting and harming others as violence. No, no. Harming yourself is also violence. Talking unnecessarily, eating immoderately, and working too much—these are also violence. Meaning, one should lead a life of moderation and balance. Anything done beyond limits is violence. Even writing excessively is violence. Why is it bad to transgress limits? Because it wastes energy. By talking more than necessary, we deplete our intellect.

Therefore, non-violence can be defined as the regulation of human life along moderate and beneficial paths.

Date: May 30, 1995

Event: Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality

Location: Brindavan, KA

Reflection

Do any of those—talking unnecessarily, eating immoderately, and working too much—apply in your own life right now? How could you limit these or any other unhealthy excesses in your life?

The first of the five Yamas (restraints) is Ahimsa. What is Ahimsa? It means not to hurt or harm anyone by thoughts, words and deeds. So, non-violence means Trikarana Shuddhi (purity of thoughts, words and deeds). Hence, do not use words that hurt anyone, do not use this body to harm anybody and do not entertain bad thoughts like hatred and jealousy against anyone in your mind. This total purity of thoughts, words and actions is non-violence. Not merely purity, the harmony of all the three. That is true non-violence.

– Bhagawan’s Discourse in Sai Sruthi, at Kodaikanal on 12th April 1993

Reflection

1. Reflect on the following words if you use them, or consider your own phrases that might be something similar:

• “They should know better than to do that” — implying moral or intellectual failure.
• “You don’t know what you’re doing” — dismissing competence.
• “You’re selfish” — moral evaluation. (Alternative: “I felt overlooked in that moment. Can we talk about how to balance both our needs?”)
• “You’re overreacting” — minimising emotional expression. (Alternative: “It seems this hit you strongly. What part feels most important?”)
• “You need to calm down” — policing emotional expression. (Alternative: “This seems intense. Want to take a moment together?”)
• “I’m just being honest” — often a cover for criticism. (Alternative: “I want to share something that might be useful. Is now a good time?”)
• “You’re being irrational” — (Alternative: “Let’s slow down and look at the facts together.”)

Now try these out on yourself: “I am selfish,” “I am overreacting”…

2. Do you notice when your thoughts, words and deeds are not in alignment? If so, what do you feel?

The enumeration of human values as five—Truth, Righteousness, Peace, Love, and Non-violence—is not correct. They are all facets of the foundational humanness. They grow together; they are interdependent, they are not separable. Dharma is Love in Action; Love thrives on inner Peace, on the absence of inner conflicts. How can one have Peace when he revels in violence of speech and action?

Bhagawan’s Discourse in the Mandir to the Bal-vikas Gurus, Prasanthi Nilayam, on 31-12-1984

Reflections

1. During the last week or few weeks, did you have any moments when you felt an inner conflict about an event or person or something in the future? These are great times to look at what is taking away our inner peace. What happened next? Was this helpful and supportive for all, or could our words or actions have had a negative impact on another human being? If we managed our self-restraint, how did we manage it and how did we feel at the time?
2. What sort of events or people or places pull us away from our inner peace towards harming others through our thoughts, words or actions, and how do we feel when this happens? Do you ever lose your patience and what would that look like if I was watching you at this time? How can you call on your inner power of goodness to prevent you from harming others?

4. Tips and practices

Evaluative judgements are part of our everyday life in order to function; however, if we bring more awareness to what judgements we make and how we make them, then we can catch those judgements which are unhelpful to ourselves or others. Often people who are anxious need to control their environment and make lots of quick judgements to stay in control; however, this is not always useful and can create more problems than it solves! Control can lead to anger when they feel they are losing control, and it can be hard to remember to be non-violent towards others in these circumstances. Curiosity can also replace self-criticism, which of course is violence to the self.

Judgements will always be based on some criteria which we hold as important. However, judgements are based on perception only—our perception of what is happening and our perception of what is good/bad, right/wrong etc.

So we need an alternative mindset to help support us in keeping our thoughts clear of judgement and thus purer.

There are two alternative mindsets we could look at to help us: curiosity and acceptance based on love, not judgement. This week we will look at curiosity. If you think of a mindset as a muscle you utilise in your life, curiosity is the muscle to build open thinking, override assumptions and biases which can lead to conflict, and build understanding in conflict rather than more conflict, whether internal or external. A curious mindset applied to life is basically the art of living with your eyes open — treating your own experiences, emotions, relationships, and choices as something worth exploring rather than something to simply endure or control. It turns ordinary days into sources of insight, meaning, and growth.

• Curiosity: A curious mindset is an active, intentional way of engaging with the world where you prioritise questions over certainty, learning over being right, and exploration over routine. It’s not just a personality trait — research shows it’s a developable skill shaped by environment, habits, and deliberate practice.

Curiosity means:

• Openness to new ideas — You welcome unfamiliar perspectives instead of defending what you already know.
• Active questioning — You ask why and how to learn, not to challenge or win. Highly effective leaders use curiosity to inspire thinking and uncover insight.
• Intrinsic motivation to explore — Curiosity is tied to dopamine and reward anticipation, which drives exploration and learning.

1. So the first tip for this week is to ask why or how when meeting something which we would have previously tended to judge. Use two powerful question types:

• “Why?” to dig deeper and learn something new:
  – Why is this happening? (helps us investigate the cause, not our perception)
  – Why do I believe this? (helps us challenge our assumptions and expand our worldview)
  – Why did they do that? (moves from frustration towards understanding)
  – Why does this matter to me? (builds self-awareness and intrinsic motivation)
• “How?” to explore possibilities and inspire new thinking:
  – How can I learn more about this? (continuous learning)
  – How might others see this? (builds others’ perspectives)

Combining them:

– Why did I react that way today? — instead of judging yourself, you investigate the trigger.

– How can I respond differently next time? — shifts you from rumination over what happened to growth.

– Why does this matter to me so much? — reveals values you didn’t know you had.

– How can I take one small step toward what I want? — keeps you moving without overwhelm.

2. Develop a beginner’s mind where we are open and unassuming and not worried if we know what is happening or not; we are just curious. Openness is a core pillar of curiosity, so observe how often you assume, have a fixed mindset on your experiences or make judgements in one hour of each day this week; perhaps keep a counter for fun just to see. If you get a chance to query your assumptions with others: “Did you mean to do that?”, “Why did you say that?”, “How did you know to do that?”
3. Create curiosity practice time in your life by trying something new, taking a different route or trying a different hot or cold drink for example. Look for routines you can play with in terms of trying a different approach.
4. Be curious: look for potential positives or alternative viewpoints rather than settling for assumptive negatives. Be open, take a different perspective such as “this is helpful” rather than “this is going to be difficult”—perhaps say to yourself, “What if this was easy to do and I just didn’t realise it!”
5. For those developing a deeper spiritual awareness, consider the following quote:

So, truth, righteousness, peace, love, and non-violence cannot be imported or exported. They are within you. If you make sincere efforts, they can manifest in your life on their own. There is nothing in this world which is not present in a human being. Everything is within him. Divinity also is within him. But man should develop the awareness that divinity is present in him in many forms. It is present in gross body, subtle body and causal body. This is Constant Integrated Awareness which is changeless. That awareness is Chit. This awareness is there in our words, in our actions, in our feelings and every part of our body. Without awareness, you cannot live even for a moment. That awareness is the very form of God. If you understand and investigate these spiritual principles and put them into practice, you will have divine bliss.

– Bhagawan’s Discourse in Sai Sruthi, at Kodaikanal on 12th April 1993.

Constant integrated awareness brings us closer to understanding the divinity within every part of us. How can you use your mind to focus on this in the coming week? Could a simple statement repeated throughout the day when you remember, “I am Divine”, support you?